If you find yourself triggered by seemingly neutral actions from your partner or constantly frustrated with one another, it could be a sign that you both need a better way to diffuse anger and communicate. Couples therapy teaches communication techniques that promote healthy conflict resolution.
Even the most loving relationships experience difficult times, but seeking help does not always mean a split is imminent. Here are 5 Signs It’s Time to Consider Couples Therapy:
You’re Feeling Lonely
It’s normal to feel lonely in a relationship at times, but if it’s a constant feeling that can’t be shaken, it could be a sign you need couples therapy. Couples therapists can help you learn to talk openly and healthily connect.
If your concerns are never heard, or your tour partner needs to value your thoughts, it can leave you feeling like you’re living with a roommate rather than someone who loves you. A therapists Seattle can help you work on communicating in a vulnerable way so that you both feel validated and understood.
Many couples wait until every conversation turns into a fight, but you can get ahead of the problem by seeking therapy early. A therapist can teach you how to diffuse anger during conflict so it doesn’t spiral out of control.
You’re Feeling Resentment
Whether it’s current resentment like feeling that your partner is not meeting your needs, taking on more than their fair share of responsibility, or unhealed resentments from past wounds, feeling anger and bitterness in your marriage can have serious consequences for both of you. If you have resentment that persists, even after you have talked about it and come to a resolution, that may indicate that your relationship would benefit from couples therapy.
Resentment colors your perception and creates harmful narratives that aren’t always accurate (we call them resentment goggles). It also makes it hard to empathize with and care about one another, an important ingredient in any healthy relationship.
You’re Spending Too Much Time Apart
Spending much time apart without communication and intimacy can be a big warning sign to a couple. The longer this problem goes unaddressed, the harder it is to resolve later.
If you and your partner are engaging in repetitive back-and-forth arguments that never seem to get resolved, it’s time to seek therapy. Your therapist will help you learn to identify the feelings underneath your common fights so that you can understand each other better and move forward in your relationship.
Many couples seek counseling when they’re struggling with sexual intimacy. Your therapist will teach you healthy techniques to regain a physical connection and strengthen your bond as a couple.
You’re Feeling a Breach of Trust
Feeling a breach of trust can be a major sign that you and your partner may need couples therapy. A trusted relationship takes consistent investment and time to build up. A therapist can teach you to work on small, trust-building acts together and help you restore the balance in your relationship if it has been drained by betrayal or secrets.
Another big red flag that you and your partner may need counseling is if your arguments always get mean and nasty. It’s important to fight healthily; a counselor can help you learn how to communicate about real issues rather than the petty things that keep arising.
If you and your partner are in a pattern of conflict without resolution, it’s likely time to seek therapy. Couples therapy can teach you new ways to solve problems that will last long after you finish counseling.
You’re Feeling a Lack of Emotional Support
You and your partner used to share your feelings openly, but now it feels like you speak different languages. If you feel like there’s a gap in understanding and emotional closeness between you, that’s a sign that it’s time to get help from a couples therapist.
You might circulate back to the same arguments without addressing or resolving them. Or, you might find yourself keeping secrets that could jeopardize your relationship. Couples counseling can help you learn better ways to communicate and resolve conflict.
Therapy doesn’t always need to be preventative; it can be a great way to strengthen your relationship and build trust. It just needs to be a priority when you recognize these telltale signs that it’s time for you and your partner to get help.